Posts Tagged ‘Yankee fans’

I still don’t feel bad for you, Alex Rodriguez…


…fat chance “the American people” will judge your career based on this season and whatever happens afterwards…



Also, let’s do a math problem.


2008/9-1975 (year you were born) = 33 years old

“I was stupid and naive [ blah blah blah, tommyrot, claptrap, etc.] when I was young and 21 years old or so”

33-21=12; 2008-12= 1996

2008-(2001/2003)= 5-7 years ago/ 26-28 years old.

I think what I’m trying to say is, “you suck at math, and at life” (can I get an “and goaltending”? in there somewhere, please?)


Still hate you! 🙂

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Though I know that this is not primarily about the Red Sox, I am a die hard fan, and I just had to get some of the most disappointing things off my chest while they’re still fresh in my mind so I don’t have to cry myself to sleep again tonight.

October baseball is cold. It’s supposed to be. It’s October. You’re supposed to see your breath. The sting of a foul tip off the end of the bat is supposed to make you wish you were born without hands. It’s the easily answered question of “do I want another watered-down beer even though it’s like 40 degrees?” Yes. Yes, you do. It won’t make you warmer, but that’s not the point. It’s trying to figure out how to keep score with mittens on in those God-forsaken ALCS programs MLB sells you for $10 a pop.

This year, though, October baseball is being trapped inside a tent, which is just kind of sad. Let me begin by saying that I do not disrespect the Rays. In fact, I’m rooting for them. I’m just so saddened by their fans, and their situation. To be fair, I’m extremely disappointed in Red Sox “fans,” too, which I’ll address later. It’s just sad to think that, watching last week’s game 2, the Rays were playing in what was probably the most exciting game in franchise history – 11 innings against the defending world champs, and there were fans asleep in the stands… Where… How… What makes that possible? Granted, the average age of the Tampa Bay residents is about 40 years older than the Red Sox fan base, but still… That’s a privilege reserved for infancy. The games start at 8 for primetime reasons, not so you can get the early bird dinner specials. You wanna take a nap, do it at home.

Next up: The cowbells. What is this, a birthday party? All they did was bang on those things like their lives depended on it. They’re worse than those stupid ThunderStix. At points, it was like watching a giant tent full of sociopaths, who seemed to cheer just because they saw everyone else cheering. Which is fine, whatever. I get it, it’s not the sport of choice down in Tampa. But still. Their own batters are calling time out, Sox pitchers are stepping off, or looking over at first, and they start booing. That’s little league. How about, you guys have stolen some ridiculous amount of bases off of us this series, and we’re concerned about letting those runners get into scoring position. Why is that boo-worthy? Oh, I forgot. You’re still kinda new at this. Whatever.

All right, let’s see. We’ve covered the climate control (stupid), the ignorant fans (even stupider)…

Matt Garza – you threw the game of your life. Congratulations. It sucks that none of the 30,000 Rays fans could be insulted by your wearing earplugs to block out the noise they were making (for you). Also, for the love of all things sacred, stop spitting. Good lord, that’s disgusting. Just another sad thing about a dome. Where is that going? Do they rinse the Astroturf off? Think about that for a moment. No, really. Let that settle in your mind for a bit. It’s not baseball without spitting. Just… where does it go, especially with Garza on the mound… Also, Matt Garza, will you sell me a used car? Cause it looks like you probably will.

Sox Fans

Oh, yeah, Red Sox fans. You’re still out there. I’m not mad at you. You know that Terry Francona is a fantastic manager. There are no questions about that. There is little to no questioning him. I trust him. Stay strong, and like Bill Simmons said, you’ll always be a sports fan. Thank you for sticking with the Red Sox even when they’re down by five hundred runs due to 75 first inning grand slams…

It’s sad that the proverbial “Red Sox ticket bubble has burst” (thanks, Caitie, 10/17/08), and that we have finally encountered the “symptoms of victory” (Joe McCarthy, 10/20/08) in that success has enabled the Red Sox to raise ticket prices, and thus those who can afford to go to Red Sox games, do, taking the seats away from loyal, die-hard, old-fashioned, superstitious Red Sox fans. Here are some heartbreaking quotes/sights that I saw in the two playoff games I was fortunate enough to “win the chance to purchase tickets to”:

ALDS Game 3 (Home Game 1)

“If Jacoby Ellsbury doesn’t hit a home run here, I’m going to stop being a Red Sox fan.”

“We can leave whenever you’d like, if you want, I don’t really care (about the 4th inning)”

“Come ON Josh Beckett. I have homework to do.”

The women arrived next to us in the top of the third inning, talking to two men who sat in the aisle between sections 6 and 7, about how stupid the new guy at work is.

“Uggh, Hot dog? That’s disgusting” (I don’t care how true this is, you NEVER say that)


ALCS Game 4 (Home Game 1)

Jon Lester’s girlfriend leaving in the 7th inning (seemed to be okay, be Lester left in the fifth?)

The woman next to me didn’t cheer once.

The wave never happened (I don’t care if it’s stupid)

Everyone seemed to love screaming “Sweet Caroline” despite the fact that we were down by approximately one hundred “points” (according to the woman behind us).

General booing of Jason Varitek and David Ortiz. Just don’t do that. You’re rooting for them, you asses.

The cross-eyed glare the woman in the row in front of me gave me while I was singing the following line whilst at Fenway Park:

Buy me some peanut and cracker jack, I don’t care if I never get back for it’s root, root, root for the home team, if they don’t win it’s a shame…

(P.S. – The Red Sox are the home team. Fenway Park is where they play their home games. I AM rooting for the home team. My girlfriend teases me about this. This woman looked seriously upset.)

It makes me sad that Yankee fans are getting off on a well-played 7-game series, where the better team won. I saw someone say “David Price for President.” What. A. Fucking. Moron. You have NO IDEA what David Price is planning on doing for Joe the illegal plumber and Simon the Magical Unicorn. Don’t be an idiot. You’re a Yankee fan. You came in third this year. You didn’t win the World Series. I don’t give a shit about your 26 World Championships. They don’t mean shit. Just like the Red Sox winning twice in the last four years doesn’t mean shit. It’s a new season. All I’m saying is that this season, you sucked. That’s all. That’s how it works. And until your uncle Yogi Berra invites me over to have dinner and talk baseball, the Yankees will still have sucked this year. Nothing you can say will change that.

More Stupid People

I’m a Resident Assistant at my university, and I encountered a guy in a Rocco Baldelli Majestic replica jersey two or three weeks ago. Tampa Bay Rays, mind you, not the Devil Rays. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Whoa, dude, where’d you get that shirt?

Him: Modell’s.

Me: Are you from Florida? I didn’t know that they had Modell’s in Florida.

Him: Nah, dude. I’m from Long Island.

Me: ::Seethes with rage and anger, remembers he’s a punk freshman in college who doesn’t know any better, but then remembers, he’s probably a Yankees fan, so I storm off, muttering under my breath about how infuriating stupid crap and people like that are::

I’m disappointed that people aren’t going to watch the World Series. It makes me sad to think that there’s still GOOD baseball to be played this year, and nobody’s going to watch it. It makes me sad that the West Coast (the only place save Miami where 80 degree Fahrenheit October baseball is acceptable) doesn’t give a turd about the World Series. In talking shop this morning, my boss said, “If I bought advertising in the World Series, I’d be like, ‘Could I get a discount?'” I agree with him. Who’s going to see it? Nobody. Philly is at least a top market team. But Tampa’s just not. Their fans are young and/or elderly. The team deserves it, their fans don’t. No offense, Rays “fans,” but you’re a joke. To those true fans out there, that’s fine, I’m happy for you. I’m rooting with you this week. For real. I bought one of those purple and black Tampa Bay Devil Rays hats when you guys were born ten years ago. Still have it in a box at my house in my basement. 

It disappointed me to see people my own age (22) wearing polo shirts and khaki pants to a baseball game. Granted, I’ve caught a game after classes, or school, or work, or whatever, and worn my “nice clothes” to a game, but I’ve never gone out of my way to dress up for a Sox game. Usually, it’s quite the opposite. Jeans and a baseball-themed t-shirt, probably one that hasn’t been washed in a few weeks, because it’ll take the luck out of the lucky shirt. These clowns on tv with their popped collars and their cowbells and their signs for TBS. Wooo TBS.

I’m disappointed that I won’t ever see Craig Sager again, probably.

I’m kinda disappointed that the Rays are filled with a team of natural athletes who still might not really know too much about baseball. Someone needs to get B.J. Upton a math lesson. He’s B.J. Upton. Not Griffey Jr. Him and Gabe Gross. Goodness, if the two of them put a little more heart behind their hustle and stopped trying to make spectacular plays, and instead made routine ones (mostly Upton here, I didn’t see tons of awesomeness out of Gross), the series would have been over long before Game 7. It just disappoints me to see sooo much ability and the sort of assumption that it will result in a win. Sure he hit the crap out of the ball, but he also sorta messed up on a few plays, too. Whatever, though. I hope he brings it to the Phillies. 

I’m sad that as I realize it more and more, Tek is probably done. Numbers down or not, baseball is a business, I get that aspect (bye, Manny!). It’s still tough to see the guy who’s been a solid catcher for your team since you were in the fifth grade on his way out. What also sucks most is that he’s still property of the Sox until the World Series is over, which means that if we’re going to dangle him in front of  Texas in some sort of package (please involve Julio Lugo, pretty pretty please), it’s going to be VERY soon. Sort of a thanks for everything, but hurry up dude. Stupid Heidi Watney. I was fine until I saw Varitek crying in the postgame wrap last night, then I lost it. 

On the flip side: I’m proud of Joe Maddon. Great guy. He deserves it. Super classy. Goofy glasses, bad at math, but hey. It works. I like that dude. And he’s given buttloads of respect to the Red Sox and maintained the proper little league mentality to play hard, have fun, and be positive. As opposed to the inappropriate, beat the umpire with a bat, approach. He’s done great things, and I hope that they take the Phils hard.

Things I’m looking forward to:

April 6th – Tampa Bay at Boston – Fenway Park time TBD, probably in the afternoon

Reading – I like books a lot, and haven’t really had the chance to read since… March 30th or so.

The winter – Supposed to be a cold one anyways, to emphasize what many would consider a nuclear (sound it out) winter due to the Patriots and Sox thus far. Let’s go Celtics?

Having a blood pressure that is healthy.

Money to take my girlfriend on dates that aren’t at Fenway Park (I think I saw 6 Red Sox losses this year – 2 in the playoffs)

“Other” forms of entertainment – There are a lot of concerts and movies I want to see, that aren’t in the form of baseball. I guess I’ll start taking those up again.

Getting to bed on time (this’ll start after the World Series, probably).


The Election, and lastly,

Matt Stairs hitting another pinch hit home run in the World Series, and hoping that the entire Phillies team proceeds to “hammer his ass” in celebration.


Blah. I’m probably boring you. But nobody reads this anyways. That’s the idea. 


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