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Archive for the ‘culture (or lack thereof)’ Category

Well, figured it was time to get on this train.

1. Jason Varitek- While it certainly hasn’t been an ideal start to the season, it has been nice to see Tek showing signs of hopefully a rebound year offensively.

2. Fast and Furious- I really liked it, and you should too.

3. Vacation- Seriously, why aren’t you taking one right now? Oh right, because you have to finish this. Well, that’s okay then. But take one when you’re done.

4. Green Lantern- First Flight trailer? Check. Kick-Off to Agent Orange? Check. Appear prominently in Flash:Rebirth? Check. Overall, good times for Lantern fans.

5. Trend Setting- Have a cool idea for some sort of social thing, such as a word, phrase, or hand gesture? Start using it, and encourage others to as well, especially if they seem to like it. Right now the ones I have going are:
1. The F*** It hand gesture- I’m not taking complete credit for this one, because it is pretty basic, and it probably was around before, but whatever, I do it a lot more now, and other people seem to be too. Pretty much, just whenever you’re in a situation where you just want to say “F*** it,” whether because you’re over it, just don’t want to deal with it, or whatever, simply make the basic self-pleasuring hand gesture (the male self-pleasuring hand gesture, no offense ladies), move it back and forth as if pleasuring oneself, and then use your hand to imitate a small eruption. I think you get the point. Point is, use. It’s fun. Just, you know, be careful who sees it/don’t actually pleasure yourself. That would be weird.
2. People see a room full of guys, and what do they say? Sausage Fest. But what about a room full of girls? Why don’t they have a semi-derogatory food associated term? Now they do. Clam Bake. Use it.
3. Magic Man- This is pretty specific to my life and people I know actually, but it’s catching on. Not going in to details on who/what it is.

So yeah, weekly recs. More difficult than I thought.

-Joe Signing Off

P.S. Using euphemisms to make things more kid safe is fun. At least my posts are safe for work. Not sure about Caitie’s…

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Bonfire in Boston is currently offering the “A-Roid” cocktail. The drink is a shot of El Mejor tequila, straight up, with a “Performance-Enhancing Boost of Spicy Tomato ‘Juice’ ” (smoked tomatoes, tomato juice, lemon juice, Tabasco, and jalapenos). The “juice” is served in a syringe (sans needle), so that you can either inject it into the shot or use it as a chaser.  Now that is pretty fucking funny. (Source: Dishing)

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So I know I said that I’d review Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li for yesterday and didn’t follow through. At least that’s what you think. See I also said you had to be good. And well… you weren’t. At all. But regardless I shall review the film anyway. Call me a Samaritan.

It is a long established theory that there are two types of movies: good and bad. Good movies are just that; well made, enjoyable, overall positive pieces of cinema, varying only by degrees of how good they are. However, within the subcategory of bad, I feel that a further distinction needs to be drawn. See I have found in my 21 years of movie going that there are three types of bad movies: bad movies you like anyway (hereafter referred to as ‘guilty pleasures’), bad movies that are so bad as to be humorous and thus rewatchable, and then just plain bad movies. One thing to note is that all of these are more of a sliding scale, varying from person to person. For example, for me the movie ‘Push’ falls into the primary category, as do many action movies. Just to set a standard for the lowest of the low, why don’t we go with the film adaptation of Eragon, bad as a movie, worse as an adaptation. And so the question now becomes where to place this newly offered up piece of Street Fighter adaptationry (trademarked). Now to start off, I feel that we need to look at what this movie most readily compares to, namely the original Street Fighter, starring the Muscles himself. Now for me, this movie falls under the second category. As funny as it is in a lot of places, I can’t actually say I like this movie beyond its comedic value, and really only watch it for that reason. It plays far too fast and loose with Street Fighter canon, and I’m just never willing to buy JCVD as ultra-American Col. Guile. I will say I do love Raul Julia in this movie, although it being his final performance is too bad for him.

So how does the new Street Fighter stack up? Well for one thing, I feel that it has a more consistient and believable story, although not by much. Also, the movie does a lot better it seems at adapting the video game material, albeit by using far fewer characters. There are still changes, but nothing terrible. I do have to level a complaint at M. Bison though. I feel like Neal McDonough did a pretty good job overall, but why in the world did he have an Irish accent? I’ve seen Neal in other things, he’s gone accent free before. Why now? The movie offers up a really half-hearted explanation too. At first it says he was the son of Irish missionaries to Thailand. Ok, makes sense so far. But then it says his parents died and he grew up alone, focusing on a shot of a baby. Again, makes sense. But wait, why does he have an accent then? Is the movie trying to tell me that Irish accent are a trait passed on through genetics? Because if so then… no, never mind. That just isn’t how it works.

Chun Li herself was fine, if perhaps a bit questionable in terms of decision making at times. There was a nice little tie in to why her move is the Spinning Bird Kick, although she only sort of performs it. I do have to give a shout out to Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog, mostly just because I’m a big fan of Michael Clarke Duncan. The guy just always does good work, regardless of the movie around him. As for Vega, well let’s just say that his role in the movie is one of the more overhyped things I’ve seen recently, a.k.a. he might be in 10 minutes of the movie. Might. Also, it was good to see Robin Shou in movies again, and while maybe it would have made sense were he stronger, as in if he weren’t getting his butt kicked every time he fought someone with a name, overall, just good to see him. Maybe lose the moustache.

Everything else about the movie was fine, except for the building blowing up, which looked like it could have been done on a cheap lap-top. Of course there was the requisite reference to the video games’ stories at the end (for any concerned, the movie takes place chronologically before the first Street Fighter).

So what was it overall? Well, it wasn’t a good movie, and it certainly loses even more appeal for non-fans of the game, but I do feel that it is a better adaptation than the original live action movie, and could see it maybe becoming a guilty pleasure of mine, although I’ll probably have to see it again.

Probably going to talk about Spring Training/the World Baseball Classic/Team USA next time, after I see them in person.

-Later foolz

P.S. – If you are a fan and haven’t played Street Fighter IV yet, get on that. Now.

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I still don’t feel bad for you, Alex Rodriguez…

 

…fat chance “the American people” will judge your career based on this season and whatever happens afterwards…

 

 

Also, let’s do a math problem.

 

2008/9-1975 (year you were born) = 33 years old

“I was stupid and naive [ blah blah blah, tommyrot, claptrap, etc.] when I was young and 21 years old or so”

33-21=12; 2008-12= 1996

2008-(2001/2003)= 5-7 years ago/ 26-28 years old.

I think what I’m trying to say is, “you suck at math, and at life” (can I get an “and goaltending”? in there somewhere, please?)

 

Still hate you! 🙂

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FAIL.

FAIL.

For some reason, my post on A-Roid didn’t go through, and popped up in the past. Scroll down to check it out, or click here. w00t.

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